“What we find exotic abroad may be what we hunger for in vain at home.”

-Alain De Botton


Xenophilia is an intense desire to bond with foreigners, most often in a sexual manner. It can also defined as an intense attraction to the unknown or different. In everyday life, xenophilia often refers to being sexually attracted to people from different countries or cultures, but in its most extreme it can mean being attracted to fictional alien species or monstrous humanoid creatures from movies and fiction.

I Love To Hate You

Xenophilia and xenophobia are very closely tied together – xenophilia being an intense attraction towards foreigners and xenophobia being an intense dislike or hatred towards foreigners. People who experience xenophilia can also have xenophobia. This leads to a love to hate kind of situation. Xenophilia can easily cross the line from an unexplained love of an unfamiliar culture to a love to dominate that unfamiliar culture, and thus has some uncomfortable similarities to race play.

Dangers of Xenophilia

Typically xenophilia is not taboo because it is based on love and attraction, even if that is stemming from an admiration of the foreign or unknown. However, when it crosses over into racial objectification, domination or humiliation, it becomes potentially more dangerous. For some people xenophilia is rooted in the feeling of the “cultural cringe” where you feel another person’s culture is superior to yours. This can lead to a worshiping type of dynamic or a dominating and punishing one. As long as your xenophilia falls under the category of loving anything foreign or culturally different without any negative or domineering emotions, then you are pretty safe.

Posted in X


“You fill up my senses like a night in the forest”

-John Denver


Xylophilia is a sexual attraction to the woods. Wood has been used to reference male erect genitalia forever, but in this case xylophilia is not referring to a hard penis, it is literally an attraction to wood and the woods. Much like other fetishes where someone is attracted to an object or substance, the nuances differ but the response is the same. Someone who is a xylophiliac might have a sexual attraction to a pile of lumber or to a tree, or only one and not the other. It does typically refer to wood in its more raw form rather than a piece of wooden furniture.

Got Wood?

“Wood” is a well-known synonym for an erect penis. But f you look at some of the jokes or references, maybe they were referencing both a hard penis and a hard piece of wood. What did the princess say when she sat on Pinnochio’s face? “Lie to me!” That joke is clearly referencing a girl who really likes some wood…


A xylophiliac may have a sexual attraction to wood, but that doesn’t always mean that they are sexually active with wood. If you find yourself interested in sexual activities with wood, make sure that you are using pieces that have been very well sanded, or start with a store-bought wooden dildo or wood butt plug. Though there is little danger with using wood as a sexual tool, the one main risk is splinters. Also remember that wood is porous, so you will either want to wrap it in a condom or make sure that you are using a piece of wood that has been very well sealed. The issue with wood being porous is that it is impossible to clean thoroughly and that could lead to potential infection.

Posted in X


“My right hand’s in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.”

-Alanis Morrisette


Xeronisus refers to a person who cannot reach orgasm by any method. A more common term used nowadays is anorgasmic. Someone suffering from xeronisus can’t orgasm. They cannot get there through masturbation or partnered sexual activity. This condition is incredibly frustrating to the person suffering as well as for their partners. They are able to feel sexual pleasure but there is no release, which can also cause added frustration. Sadly, this is a common problem for women.

Where is the O?

There can be many reasons someone might have xeronisus ranging from physical health issues, to emotional intimacy issues, trauma, partner intimacy, body image, cultural shame, and religious sexual inhibition. This is such a common issue in women that it is a common theme in movies and TV shows. Every other issue of women’s magazines is telling you how to find the big O. There are articles, courses, podcasts, meditations, and support groups all to help women find their orgasm.

The Sad O

Having xeronisus does more than just keep you from feeling sexual release. It can cause psychological problems of feeling unworthy, unsexy, unattractive. It often leaves the person feeling like there is something wrong with them. It can lead to body image issues, sexual issues, and depression. For partners of people with xeronisus, it can cause feelings of inadequacy and disconnection. One of the hardest parts of dealing with xeronisus is that it often leaves people feeling disconnected from intimacy.

Posted in X