Category: B

“Making eye contact during rough sex is like trying to read Dostoyevsky on a rollercoaster.”

-Jenna Jameson

Definition

In some strict BDSM relationships, the Dom and the sub get fulfillment out of having a lot of rules and restrictions to keep the bottom in their place. One way to do this is to implement eye contact and speech restrictions. This means that the sub would only be able to look the Dom or other people in the eye at certain times or if given permission, and they may not be able to speak at all, or can only speak in certain situations. Perhaps they would not be able to use a certain word that people often say, which would result in frequent punishments. Sometimes Blinding includes the use of head gear designed to block a sub’s ability to see anything in the periphery similar to the blinders worn by thoroughbreds at the racetrack.

Beginning Play

If you think the idea of this is super hot, then you can start to implement it in lighter ways than having 24/7 restrictions. Have your sub kneel on the floor and tie their hands behind their back. Do all sorts of things to them, play with their nipples, use implements, etc., but don’t allow them to make eye contact. Tell them the only time they’re allowed to make eye contact with you is when they are coming. Give them a big long tease and punish them by making it even worse if they break your new rules. When they finally have that big O, they will feel grateful to look you in the eyes.

Why People Play This Way

This type of play might seem puzzling to those who are not involved in the BDSM lifestyle, or even to those who are new to it. But it really makes sense when you learn why people like it. It is all about power and removing the privilege of making eye contact or talking really puts someone in their place and makes them feel submissive. It takes away a lot of the power they feel which makes them feel like an equal person to their Dominant.

Be Responsible

It’s never a good idea to give your sub any restrictions that would affect their everyday life negatively. Make sure you build things into your eye contact and speech restriction agreements that will allow them to act normally at work, or when they are with people who don’t know what type of relationship you both share.

“The one, who doesn’t break your heart, will break your balls.”

-MF Moonzajer

Definition

Ball busting is something that many guys love even though it makes them double over in extreme pain. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A Dominant girl will, either barefoot or wearing a sexy pair of boots or heels, kick a guy in the balls as hard as she can. It helps if the guy is tied up so he can’t protect himself much from the blows, but it’s not always necessary as some ball knocking enthusiasts willingly stand back up for more torment as soon as possible.

Technique

So, you want to try ball busting with your male sub. You should start light by holding out the balls with your hand and spanking them, with increasing severity until you get a reaction. This will be your gauge for how hard to hit, no matter the technique. Once you’ve gotten the OK, move up to kneeing. This is a more controlled motion than kicking, and you are more likely to get a direct hit on your first try. A Muay Thai inspired move, it helps if you hold the person’s shoulders with your arms. Don’t be surprised if they double over quickly! Finally, the most extreme form of ball busting is kicking. This requires some practice and aim. Always aim to catch the balls on the top of the foot where it is flat. It will hurt plenty but not leave any lasting damage to the balls or your foot.

Safety

There is always risk with ball busting as it is basically a form of contact sport! Some shoes can scratch the skin of the balls, which is quite delicate; so if your shoes have spikes or buckles on them, best to leave it off to avoid injury. If you don’t want to touch the person’s bare balls, you can always slip a condom over your foot. Safer sex is always the sexiest sex. Remember to always play with a safe word. That way, your busting subject can cry and scream all they want but you’ll know they still want to continue. As with any form of pain play, consent is required and the Dom must frequently ‘check in’ with the sub to confirm that consent is enduring, because it can be revoked at any time.

“I didn’t do this because I wanted to be different. I did this because I want to be Me.“

-Rick Genest

Definition

Body modification doesn’t always have to be fetish related, but it often is. Body modification is any permanent or temporary change to the body, in this case, for sexual purposes. Sometimes the purposes have to do with marks of ownership in Dom/sub relationships. In other cases it has to do with becoming a role like a human pet. Anything that you have seen in the vanilla world from tattoos to piercings is possible. Many also view plastic surgery as a body mod fetish.

Risks

Most body modifications have minimal risks. Piercings and tattoos can get infected, but they are easy to take care of. The main risk with more permanent mods is psychological. It is imperative that couples decide together if the modification is what is right for the sub, and that no pressuring occurs. The submissive has to want it as much as the Dominant, and not just because the Dom wants it too! This is because modifications can have a significant effect on employment and other big life factors long after the BDSM relationship has dissolved (let’s face it, many relationships don’t last forever.)

Get Started

If you want to mark your sub, start with play piercings and needle play that will come out and close up after the scene. If that all goes well, then discuss what type of permanent markings you want as a couple, whether that be tattoos or piercings, and make it happen. There are plenty of kinky piercers and tattooists around who wouldn’t mind making the work ceremonial or even part of a scene, as many of those who work in the field are fetishists themselves.

Plastic Surgery as Body Mod

Many people love the idea of plastic surgery as part of their sexual fetish, whether it is because of dollification, bimbofication or a separate plastic surgery fetish. This comes with even more risks than piercing and tattooing, and should not be taken lightly. However, many pornstars, including TS woman Juliette Stray, have made this fetish a successful part of their image.

“It’s really fun to act like a bimbo.”

-Laura Hern

Definition

Bimbofication is a sexual fetish that is similar to dollification with some very notable differences. With bimbofication, the submissive in a relationship seeks to be turned into a brainless bimbo who is helpless and clueless. They may dye their hair blonde, the classic bimbo color, and get body modifications to give them that perfect slutty figure. Bimbofication has a lot to do with objectification. Bimbos enjoy being turned into sexual objects through different means, some more like role play, and others via life altering decisions not to be taken lightly.

Bimbo Modifications

Extreme lovers of the bimbofication fetish may actually go to a hypnotherapist to try to diminish the analytical parts of their personality. This is a task that should not be taken lightly, as it can have permanent side effects. Bimbos also often committed to intensive plastic surgery – ranging from less invasive changes like lip injections, to permanent body modifications like breast implants, liposuction and rhinoplasty. Before undertaking any of these modifications, bimbo fetishists should really think about the permanent nature of these mods and how it may affect your life in the long run.

Fun With Bimbos

Why do people want to become bimbos? It is often said that ignorance is bliss. Bimbos don’t let their pesky minds get in the way of voraciously devouring cock or pussy while handing over the thought process to a Dom that cares for their needs better than they could have on their own. Make a bimbo your friend and your cock will always have a devoted mouth, pussy and asshole open at your command. With this power comes great responsibility as bimbos are quite helpless, and many will do stupid things (often on purpose) to test your ability to clean up after them emotionally. Don’t let them near your financial accounts and be ready for plenty of frustration at first, as you take total control over a bimbo who has agreed to become willfully thoughtless for your amusement.

“Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.”

-Joan Jett

Definition

Tits can be pretty much any shape or size, and they all have different qualities to them. Some of them are big and pendulous, sagging low on the body. Others are small and tight, hanging close to the chest. Either way, they are just begging for someone to torment them! Breast torment can encompass a large number of activities in the sphere of BSDM. There is bondage, of course, and lots of different clips, clamps and implements that can be used to make the breasts feel the cleansing pain some deserve.

Breast Bondage

When someone has bigger breasts, it is easy to tie them up; at least that’s what the people who are into breast play believe! Many like to tie them up tight, wrapping thin rope or cord around them until they look like torpedoes. This is a great form of play that can feel really good as the throbbing sensation sets in and when the pressure is released as the ropes are removed. You should be careful when combining impact play with this type of bondage since blood is trapped in the breasts, and those big tits will turn a dark purple causing even darker bruises that last for a long time – so it’s easy to accidentally go overboard when trying breast torment for this first time. Much like the balls, the breasts should only be tied up in this manner for short periods of time to avoid complications from circulation failure.

Don’t Try This At Home

It is possible for some women to actually be suspended by their breasts, if they have the right consistency, size, shape and texture. This must be done in a safe environment with experienced players, and there should be plenty of people nearby to help with safety. It is a dangerous activity to suspend someone from their breasts, but there are also bondage positions that put some pressure on the breasts which make it more of a reasonable predicament to put someone in as you practice. Start slow and simple, if you want to gradually become an expert without damaging your partner and your reputation during the inevitable learning process.

Lactation And Loss

Be particularly careful with anyone who is lactating as engorged breasts react differently. Also keep hormonal changes in mind during times of menses or menopause. One final important thought deals with people who have had a mastectomy to remove one or both breasts. Breast play with mastectomy survivors can be an extremely emotional and cathartic experience but needs to be done with a fair amount of preparation and aftercare in your planning.

“Remember to breathe. It is after all, the secret of life.”

-Gregory McGuire

Definition

Breath play is actually something that a lot of people do behind closed doors in the bedroom. There are many forms of this type of play and some of them are kinkier and some are more regular. Breath play spans from having your lover cover your mouth and nose with their hands, having them cover your mouth and nose with their mouth and breathing with you, or having them shove their cock down your throat, cutting off the air. There is also the more dangerous act of having some type of ligature placed around the neck as part of breath play, or having your partner use their hands. This is an intimate act that should only be performed with someone you trust.

Safety first

Breath play can be done very safely, contrary to popular belief. The safest forms of breath play are using your hands or an easy to remove object over someone’s mouth or face. This is best because at the first sign of any real distress, you can just take the object away and check in with the person. You can also do the classic hands around the neck. Only press on the sides, as it will be more uncomfortable if you press in the middle and could make the person cough, ruining the sexy moments. If you want to get into bondage, this is a more dangerous territory.

Always have any neck bondage separate from the rest of the tie and easy to release should anything go awry. In addition, always have scissors handy to cut the rope. It’s really not recommended to try this type of bondage, but people are probably going to do it anyways since it’s really popular, so you might as well have all the safety facts. You should never try to do breath play by yourself! You also need to have a safe word and a safety motion like putting one finger up in the air so the person can let you know if it’s too much and they can’t talk.

Take My Breath Away

It’s quite normal to like choking during sex, even though people with these desires often think they are extreme. People like to get choked because it’s part of power play. It makes the person on the bottom feel vulnerable, and from a biological perspective, there is a big head rush that adds so much physical sensation to the already sexy time. If you want to try choking, there’s nothing wrong with you; in fact, you’d be just like the majority of people who’ve already added it to their sexual repertoire.

“Women are sacred and the woman one loves is holy.”

-Alexander Dumas

Definition

When you are faced with a beautiful woman standing in front of you in a Dominant position, the only thing a submissive can do is beg for the privilege to worship her completely. Higher levels of worship come with emotional and spiritual awareness, but beginners start with the more obvious physical body worship lessons that they need to fully comprehend in a concrete sense first. This includes kissing and licking the most delicate and beautiful parts of a goddess, like her juicy ass, full breasts or when earned, a taste of her wet pussy. Never forget her perfect feet or the boots that adorn them. Body worshipers see their Domme as a Goddess to be feared and adored. Female subs can also worship their Dom or Domme in a similar manner. In many ways, body worship is more about the enthusiasm and reverence of the act, than the body part itself.

Doms Initiate to Make it Happen

If you have been dreaming of body worship but haven’t had the confidence to bring your fantasies to fruition, there are a few things you can do to easily make it all happen. One fun way to bring some BW (as it is sometimes known) into your life is to put some emotional distance between yourself and your sub. More than a vocal instruction, a sub must feel the sense of loss and despair that comes from withdrawal and disconnection in order to relish your presence properly when you return. Only when a sub is sure that their connection to you is in jeopardy can they reach deeply enough within their own psyche to give themselves over to you fully with a full comprehension of how lucky they are to be afforded the gift of your attention.

Full Time Power Exchange Vs. Part Time Roleplay

Novices like body worship because there is a clear distinction of power. Sure, a guy might want to grab a girl’s ass, but if he is submissive, the act of worship and the necessity of permission heighten the sexual satisfaction tremendously. However, when a couple moves beyond part time roleplay toward full time power exchange, body worship can take on a whole new level of arousal. Many full time submissives perform housework, complete chore lists, accept commands without question and show their appreciation by constantly caring for the body of their Dom as the true vessel of an enlightened soul. Preferring to be used as a coffee table to prevent his drink from ever spilling, serving as a better footrest than any cold leather ottoman. Washing their Dom without request and helping him rest as each day of servitude blissfully leads to the next.

“In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice.”

-Marquis de Sade

Definition

BDSM Stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Technically it could be called BDDSSM, but people shortened it because they thought it was too repetitive. It is a huge umbrella with many activities that fall under it, including tying people up, corporal punishment, submissive training and people who live the lifestyle 24/7. The list of activities is purely endless. If you’re thinking about trying anything that could be considered BDSM, then you should do some research because it’s likely that there are other aspects of this kinky stuff that would interest you too.

History

While the term BDSM didn’t come around until the 1960s, people have been getting their freak on in this way for a long, long, long, time. In many different ancient texts there are stories of flagellation (whipping) for sexual pleasure as well as to worship goddesses. Even the Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian text that was a guide to fulfilling sex, had suggestions for how to hit people during sex to make it more enjoyable. Now it is estimated that anywhere from 5-10% of people enjoy doing some form of BDSM in their personal lives.

How to Get Started

When you’re thinking of trying BDSM there are many ways to meet people. It helps if you live in a major metropolitan area because you can go to munches, which are meetings between kinky people of the area. Sometimes these meetings have a theme – like FemDom – but mostly they are for anyone. Cities also often have groups that hold play parties – this is an event where almost anything that is safe and legal can happen, and it’s also a great way to meet people. However, some people are too shy to make their first entry to the scene at a party, which is why munches are nice. There is also a wealth of information online, so if you don’t feel like getting freaky in a group, then just turn to your good friend the search engine and search away!