“Making eye contact during rough sex is like trying to read Dostoyevsky on a rollercoaster.”

-Jenna Jameson


In some strict BDSM relationships, the Dom and the sub get fulfillment out of having a lot of rules and restrictions to keep the bottom in their place. One way to do this is to implement eye contact and speech restrictions. This means that the sub would only be able to look the Dom or other people in the eye at certain times or if given permission, and they may not be able to speak at all, or can only speak in certain situations. Perhaps they would not be able to use a certain word that people often say, which would result in frequent punishments. Sometimes Blinding includes the use of head gear designed to block a sub’s ability to see anything in the periphery similar to the blinders worn by thoroughbreds at the racetrack.

Beginning Play

If you think the idea of this is super hot, then you can start to implement it in lighter ways than having 24/7 restrictions. Have your sub kneel on the floor and tie their hands behind their back. Do all sorts of things to them, play with their nipples, use implements, etc., but don’t allow them to make eye contact. Tell them the only time they’re allowed to make eye contact with you is when they are coming. Give them a big long tease and punish them by making it even worse if they break your new rules. When they finally have that big O, they will feel grateful to look you in the eyes.

Why People Play This Way

This type of play might seem puzzling to those who are not involved in the BDSM lifestyle, or even to those who are new to it. But it really makes sense when you learn why people like it. It is all about power and removing the privilege of making eye contact or talking really puts someone in their place and makes them feel submissive. It takes away a lot of the power they feel which makes them feel like an equal person to their Dominant.

Be Responsible

It’s never a good idea to give your sub any restrictions that would affect their everyday life negatively. Make sure you build things into your eye contact and speech restriction agreements that will allow them to act normally at work, or when they are with people who don’t know what type of relationship you both share.

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