Anonymous Sex

“Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.”

-Mark Twain


An anonymous sex fetish is when a person gets sexual arousal from not knowing who their sexual partner is. It is a “no strings attached” sexual encounter. This fetish can be about needing truly anonymous sex or simply an anonymous sex fantasy.

Who are you again?

There are a lot of reasons why people get into anonymous sex. For some, it is the excitement of having “no strings attached” sexual encounters. They meet, they have sex, they leave. It is done. For others it is about being objectified. It is deriving sexual arousal from the sexual encounter not being about you as a person but you as a sexual body or sexual object. Anonymous sex is typically about the physical experience and is devoid of emotions. It can also be a way to partake in sexual fetishes without feeling judged. If you are never going to see the person again, and you don’t know who they are, how can they judge you?

Fantasy vs. Reality

Some people are able to participate in an anonymous sex fetish through fantasy role-playing. In fact, it is a common one that you see acted out in public. One person walks up to another person in a bar and suggests they have sex in the bathroom, or they come back to a hotel around the corner. Couples will often use this fantasy as a way to try to spice things up in the bedroom. Of course, this is not true anonymous sex. 

Typically the fetish for anonymous sex requires true anonymity. There are many other fetishes that overlap with this in their expression, such as sex parties where you don’t know your sexual partner, or having sex while blindfolded or masked. The movie Eyes Wide Shut pushed the boundaries in film when it showed anonymous group sex


There can be a lot of risk associated with anonymous sex. Without knowing your partner you cannot know if they are free of STDs. There is also the risk of someone not respecting consent or doing things with you sexually that are beyond your comfort zone. Sex parties where people are screened are typically much safer than picking someone up at a bar. If you are going to have anonymous sex, make sure to use a condom

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