“They were maps that lived, maps that one could study, frown over, and add to; maps, in short, that really meant something.”

-Gerald Durrell


A lovemap is an idea that was first thought of by a sexologist named John Money. It is basically when someone maps out what their ideal sexual encounter or lover would be like. The term can also be used to map out a whole relationship, but for our purposes we are mainly talking about when you use it for sexual purposes. The lovemap is like your own personal language about sex and love that starts developing early on in life, and it is a concept that many psychologists enjoy using when it comes to discussing someone’s sexuality.

What’s Your LoveMap?

A LoveMap isn’t an actual map that you make, although it can often be qualitatively and quantitatively put down onto paper for at least some aspects of it. It is more of a flavor or a language that belongs to you. You know the types of things you like in bed, the secret things that turn you on and the ones you tell people about, as well as the sexual experiences you’ve had that have shaped your identity today. Lovemaps can become changed over time, especially if trauma occurs.

Do You Need It?

LoveMap is a term that is useful for many who are in therapy or trying to figure out the origins of their sexuality, but it’s not one that you absolutely must use in your life. You can always think about it, but it’s not one of those sex things that you absolutely need to know. It is mainly used by those who are interested in furthering their knowledge about the psychology in sex, and how it affects their sex lives directly. If you are into the idea of a lovemap you should be aware that they change based on life situations and even hormone balances.

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