“Real art is basic emotion. If a scene is handled with simplicity- and I don’t mean simple- it’ll be good.”

-John Wayne


A scene refers to a pre-planned and agreed upon BDSM activity. It is called a scene because there is a beginning, middle, and end. During the scene the Dom and sub are playing their roles as a Dom and a sub. Often many of the overall plans of the scene are discussed beforehand so both Dom and sub know what to expect. Details may be discussed, especially in terms of what people may be asked to do and what their limits are. A scene may have people watching or it could be private. Alternatively, “the scene” may also refer to the BDSM community.

Planning a Scene

What makes a scene a scene is the pre-planning. But how do you go about doing that? How do you plan a scene? Everyone is different and has their own preferences but here are some things to keep in mind when planning:

What are your goals for the scene?
How do you want to feel?
What roles does each person want to take?
What activities do you want to participate in?
What are your limits?
What is the safe word?
Do we have a non-verbal safe sign?
How do you act if you are distressed?
Do you have any triggers?
What kind of aftercare do you like?
What is the best way to comfort you?
When was your last STD panel?
Do you have any health issues?

Communication Matters

The more experienced you are with your partner, the less you will have to discuss. Communication is key no matter what, but you may be able to skip things like questions on health issues and safe words as those will be already known and established. It is always a good idea to discuss any changes from one scene to the next. For instance, if any person noticed a potential new sign for distress or a new trigger, it is important to let everyone know. Even established partners should revisit all the questions from time to time to make sure that they are on the same page.

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